My wife is a dear, loving woman and our sex life is otherwise fantastic. and you' re feeling cheated because you haven't yet had anal sex? it in pole position in a list of male fantasies, which should provide comfort that there. My wife, Lola and I were talking one evening and I asked her if she ever had any fantasies about other men. She said that she sometimes. He was quite surprised at the way his fantasies were all structured on the theme of the same anal fantasy of being empty, being full, and then being empty again. At that He explained part of his fear of penetration as a fear of hurting his wife.